Thanksgiving or “Giving Thanks” is one of my favorite holidays, not only for the delectable delights (that I will definitely overindulge in on Thursday!), but it also provides me with an annual opportunity to be retrospective about my blessings and to count each one. However, I am not naturally grateful, in fact, my default is to complain and not consider the gifts that I have. If I’m not careful, I can become very dissatisfied indeed, which is why a yearly reminder is good for me..

Being ungrateful is especially true for me as a special needs parent, because so much of what we do for our disabled children requires great sacrifice, tenacity, courage and strength. It is often a repetitive/ isolating life, exhausting and exasperating, especially as both we and our kids get older, as so much patience is required…. Of course we love our sons and daughters with every fiber of our being – THIS is what keeps us going and why we will do whatever it takes until we take our last breath to ensure our children live their best life, regardless of what it takes..

Am I thankful for all that raising a disabled son entails? Absolutely not- who in their right mind would be? I never imagined that I would still have to help shower my son at 21 years old, cut up his food, assist him with all activities of daily living or be his Social Director. I also didn’t think that I would have to manage every aspect of Brian’s life, or interact with a legion of professionals and volunteers that we heavily rely on to help us to help him, and always will…No, I am not thankful for the effect that disability has had on Brian’s life and ours. I certainly wish it weren’t so. Life would certainly be a lot easier without the numerous challenges that disabilities present- but would life actually be better?…

There is always a flip side to every story: there is no doubt that raising a child with disabilities is not for the faint of heart for the aforementioned reasons just mentioned, BUT, there is also a more meaningful/purposeful life that we have because of Brian. It has taken me time, many ups and downs, and experiences to reach this conclusion, for which I am most thankful. When I reflect on the past 21 years, even in the most difficult of times, there was always SOMETHING to be grateful for, situations and outcomes that have shaped my perspective, given me hope, restored my faith, and, ultimately, instilled in me a thankful heart.

I still have to be very intentional about my thankfulness, but it does get easier with time and practice. My attitude becomes one of gratitude and appreciation for many things- because I know the alternative well enough now to know that there is no peace in a spirit of constant complaining. And thankfulness tends to beget gratitude, which begets genuine joy, – THAT is the miracle I have seen in Brian’s daily life. Despite his significant disabilities, – he can express his joy in the simplest of things that I take for granted: a swimming pool, a favorite song, potato chips, lol. Brian leads his life by faith and complete trust, living truly in the moment and appreciating each one. His life has changed mine profoundly for the better- sometimes in ways that are painful, but ultimately better – and for that I am very thankful. Of course, I have my bad days too, but overall I can see there is actually much I have to be thankful for, even the littlest things, so here is my Top 12 Things I Am Thankful For ( there is no particular order to the list):

1. Coffee- my morning elixir, I can’t imagine starting the day without it! Brenda does run on Dunkin’! ☕️

2. Every New Day that I get to experience..life is short indeed..

3. My husband, Jim- our rock and my best friend

4. My son, Brian- our beloved son, brave warrior who is Love Personified..

5. Our extended family- which is quite large and loving!

6. Beloved friends and acquaintances throughout the seasons of my life- precious memories that I hold in my heart…

7. The special parents I have met because of Brian- we are a strong tribe of friends forged together in love and support!

8. My Heavenly Father, who sustains me, loves me, heals me, and gives me hope every day- my Christian faith is everything to me..

9. All of my life experiences, past, present and future – they have made me the person that I am today.

10. My beloved parents, who taught me how to love myself and others through their selfless examples of love, service and sacrifice.

11. My health- as a cancer survivor, this is especially poignant…

12. The wonderful doctors, teachers, behaviorists, teacher assistants, therapists, volunteers, etc who have taught us how to help Brian live a healthy and purposeful life- we are profoundly thankful for all of you…

May this Thanksgiving be a reminder that there is always something to be thankful for, even in the worst of times…Thank you for reading and being a part of my journey. When I count my blessings, I count you twice! May God bless you and yours with His great abundance in all areas of your life. Happy, Happy Thanksgiving! 😘❤️🦃😊