What I Want Most For Christmas….

As the song goes, “it’s the most wonderful time of the year”, a time filled with holiday music, delicious treats, time with family and friends, and gifts to celebrate the season. Many of us have great hopes for the New Year ahead. We have our resolutions in place and are determined to follow through with them this time. I do love this time of year and enjoy (over)indulging on the many delectables of Christmas, with the annual vow of a healthier start a few weeks later. It’s a fun, fast, and furious season- before you know it, the party is over, and with it, a “let down/deflated” kind of feeling, a sense of emptiness… I’m sure the sugar high (then low),plays a crucial role, but it’s more than that…the tinsel, gifts, and carols appeal to our senses, but only briefly, often leaving in its wake a deep hunger for something more satisfying and lasting…

The holidays can also be painful for many people and often represent losses of great magnitude , such as unfulfilled dreams and expectations of what Christmas should have/ could have been like. Loved ones who are no longer with us is another huge void and the holidays can certainly be a reminder of their profound absence that causes a literal heartache. I think of my beloved Dad as I write this and how much he used to enjoy Christmas at our house each year. I can still hear his voice and laughter in my head and will miss his presence immensely again this year. It can be very hard to be merry. Everyone and everything appears “cheerful and bright”. But appearances can be deceiving and the reality is more likely “dysfunction junction” for some folks sitting around the Christmas table. The holidays can resurrect old wounds and unresolved emotional conflicts, keeping families and friends at a distance. Not exactly the Currier and Ives holiday card that we like to see!

There is a Christmas gift that I desire this year that can make life’s imperfections much more tolerable. It costs nothing, yet is priceless and powerful. It has eluded the grasp of nations and has been desired since the beginning of mankind. This gift heals our immune system, soothes our spirit, and protects us with the armor of its strength and compassion. We are able to endure the bad times because of it and this present is well received by others. It is the gift of peace….who wouldn’t love TRUE “peace of mind” or a “peaceful heart” in both good and bad times? In the Bible, there is a verse that describes ” the peace that passes all understanding”, so even in the midst of very difficult circumstances, you can still have peace. Remarkable? Absolutely! Possible? I believe it is. Yes, I would definitely like this gift for Christmas (and all year round) for daily living, for my mental, physical, and emotional health, but especially as it pertains to my concerns about Brian.

Let’s face it- our special kids have and will always give us many reasons to be worried/concerned for their welfare as long as we are on this earth. The anxiety associated with this huge responsibility is enough to rob me of the peace that I desire and has certainly done so. There have been many times over the past 15+ years when this is exactly what happened and I paid a high price for it. The result was fear and depression, neither good for my mind or physical health. Sometimes we get stuck in old habits that die hard. Sometimes it takes enough hardships to finally consider a new approach. I have finally reached that summit and am ready to go to the mountain top by a leap of faith. I have nothing to lose and believe it will be the best view yet in 2019, despite what the circumstances will be . I want that “peace that passes all understanding”- I know it’s possible and am ready to receive it!

Above Brian’s bed is the quote “peace on earth”. This is Brian’s “happy place”, where he is most peaceful. There is nothing more tender than watching a child in peaceful slumber, wouldn’t you agree? It is my nightly delight to watch my son sleep for a few minutes when I check in on him. Brian looks like a beautiful, peaceful angel, calm and serene. This is my daily reminder of “peace personified”, our Special Ambassador Of Peace, right in our midst!

Merry Christmas to you and your loved ones- enjoy this precious time spent with family and friends! May the gift of true peace be yours this holiday season and beyond- God Bless you richly in 2019! Until we meet again- thanks for reading and see you next year! πŸ˜˜β€οΈπŸŽ„