It’s Brian’s last week of school and the clock is ticking very loudly in these final hours.. 19 years of special education are almost completed…No more school bus, teachers, therapists or classrooms…Child study teams, IEP meetings, and case managers are very soon to become a part of the past….With the graduation ceremony commencing in just a few days, I knew these moments were inevitably going to come “one day” or “some day” in the future….Now that “ some day”‘is actually in 2 days and I am still conflicted about everything, despite the fair warning and in spite of all the signs…

When I reflect upon the past 19 years of Brian’s experiences in special education, I have to say that overall they have been very good ones. However, no school, school district, teacher or parent is perfect, so there have most certainly been moments of frustration and isolation along the way. Banging heads with case managers, bad bus drivers, and observing school staff not understanding your child, (despite many efforts on your part to unravel their mysteries to those who have been assigned to him) are just some examples. The worst one is when staff give up on your child, even though you as a parent offered your unwavering support to assist in whatever way possible to make things better . These particular moments were like daggers to the heart, scarred and ultimately forgiven, but never forgotten. ..Fortunately, this only happened a couple of times over the years, but even one time was one too many….

There were also difficult moments in the early years of Brian’s schooling when I felt totally inadequate and didn’t know exactly how to help my son. No one gives you a manual with directions and I often felt rudderless and isolated. Yet, I was ultimately determined and eventually learned to become my son’s advocate. Lots of research, making mistakes, taking risks, documenting, speaking up and sharing with other special parents encouraged me to advocate. I am proud of how far I have come in this regard: 19 years have been an excellent teacher of what is possible, especially when it is driven by a love for your son that is so fierce…I also use these skills for self-advocacy, as well as advocating for my Mom, and I continue to learn and improve all the time!

Despite the inevitable ups and downs of special education, I am so very grateful for the wonderful school staff we have met over the past 2 decades, especially those who have loved Brian and have helped him to learn many things. Some of these individuals have become life long friends and will always have a special place in our hearts. We will miss everyone more than words can capture or the heart can express. It’s too hard to say goodbye, so I’m not going to do that, rather, I will ponder these blessings instead.. I know Brian feels exactly the same way and would say so if he could. His smile and hugs communicate what you need to know and where you stand with him.

There is no doubt that Brian will feel the loss acutely of no longer seeing his beloved staff in the immediate days to come, but I trust that he will eventually come to accept and love his new adult day program at New Beginnings For Tomorrow (NB4T). Thank you, Team Brian, for your unwavering support all these years and for teaching Brian the skills that he needs to be successful and happy. I believe he is ready for the next major transition in his life, even if I am not.. but eventually, I will be too!

As the final curtain comes down on an amazing era of special education, I want to thank my graduate, Brian, most of all. It is with great pride that I will watch you graduate on Wednesday. You have come so far since those very early days of school, heck, you weren’t even walking back then! It has not been an easy journey- you work very hard to attain every skill learned. I am in awe of your persistence and fortitude, despite the uphill battle many times. I am also humbled by the abundant grace that you give to all, especially to me as your Mom. Brian, you are a superstar, God’s special young man, who I am blessed to call my son. I have learned so much along with you over these past 19 years, and would not have missed any of it for the world! Thank you for teaching me how to be strong when I didn’t think I could be and to have faith when things seemed hopeless at times. Congratulations on a job well done, Brian! Dad and I are so very proud!! Now on to the next chapter….oh, the places you will go! xoxoxo