Being thankful is not something that I do automatically. I have to make a conscious decision, a deliberate choice to be thankful versus ungrateful, especially when things are not going my way or as I had hoped. Often it takes a crisis or a major life change for me to realize what I had and why I need to count my blessings. My natural default setting is to initially look at a glass “half empty” instead of “half full”. Remaining in this mind set for too long does me more harm than good….

This year especially has been chock full of transitions, adjustments and losses that I have not been grateful for. Now I realize why Brian is so resistant to change: the apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree! And my tree was definitely shaken to its core this year, resulting in fear, anxiety and an ungrateful heart. There were definitely changes that I knew were inevitably going to happen, but didn’t want to face: for example, Brian’s graduation from special education and transition to an adult program ( and all that entailed). My Mom’s gradual health decline and ultimate passing in early October. My own emotional and physical struggles of a broken heart and what definitely felt like a broken back. And finally: the relentless/ demanding journey as a special needs parent- the great dichotomy in my life that will always encompass both extreme joys and simultaneous sorrows; the typical bookends with often the mundane in the middle..

I sometimes vascillate between highs and lows, depending upon what is going on in Brian’s life at the time. Unfortunately, being thankful often gets pushed to the sidelines during these times and forgotten in lieu of just getting through the day, something that I find to be more challenging as both Brian and I get older. Life’s tough circumstances can have a way of deflating both your spirit and hope if you allow them to..

Bad days and seasons in life are inevitable for us all, that is a fact and there is no way around that. However, there are choices to be made when life didn’t turn out exactly as we planned. Do we become bitter or better? Victim or Victor? I have definitely been all 4 of these things during different seasons in my life. In retrospect, I can say with great confidence that choosing a victorious and a better version of myself has always resulted in a life with richer meaning, despite the hardships. But it is a daily choice that I must make and it is definitely not easy..

Thanksgiving is a wonderful reminder for me to count my blessings, take stock in what I do have ( instead of what I lack) and to be thankful for all of it . I really felt the need to write down a list of the things that I am truly very thankful for, especially this year, so I just wrote down what came to mind. I was actually amazed how I was able to come up with 50 things to be thankful for- I didn’t think there was so much I could write down, but I am thankful for that ( #51)! Upon further reflection of my list, I realize just how blessed I truly am. To say I am thankful despite the challenges of life, is where I want to be in my heart, mind and spirit. Here are my Top 50 Things I Am Grateful For: ( I challenge you, Dear Reader, to do tbe same, you will be thankful that you did)!

I Am Thankful For….

1. God, My Creator
2. Heaven, My Hope
3. Jim, My Beloved
4. Brian, My Heart
5. My Wonderful Parents
6. My Loyal/Kind Siblings
7. Our Beautiful, Extended Family
8. Our Church Family
9. Other Special Needs Families
10. Girlfriends
11. Different Friends in each season of my life 
12. The ability to travel extensively as a young woman
13. The opportunity to live in Germany for 18 months 
14. The good fortune to work in various careers 
15. Being a wife and Mom
16. Expressing myself in writing 
17. Colon Cancer Survivorship
18. Modern Medicine
19. Medical Community
20. Living in the United States of America
21. Special Education Staff and resources 
22. A Sense of Humor
23. Tears
24. Good Books
25. Chocolate 
26. Coffee!! ( Otherwise there would be a national crisis, lol)
27. Brian’s adult day program
28. Belly Laughs
29. A Roof Over My Heat
30. Food In The Fridge
31. Hair color and lipstick 
32. Comedies, Dramas and Biographies 
33. My Car
34. Getaways
35. The Beach
36. Apple Products
37. The ability to get of bed each morning 
38. Music!!!
39. Forgiveness 
40. Redemption 
41. Hope
42. Life Lessons
43. Faith
44. Learning From My Mistakes
45. Another Chance…
46. Restorative Sleep..
47. Babies
48. Children
49. My Physical Therapist
50. Hiking/Extended Walks Outdoors 

Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours! May your heart be full of thankfulness for each blessing that you possess, not only this Thursday, but every day. God Bless, until next time, thanks for reading! 😊