They are the backbone of goodness in our society, sharing their time and talents with so many! These folks come from all walks of life and have varied experiences. They are kind-hearted and wish to make a positive difference in the lives of the children that they serve. They are the fabulous  volunteers, and without them, many social and recreational activities would cease to exist.  Three cheers for the volunteers!!!

The alternative of sitting home is a frightening prospect to consider… Brian’s “default setting” would be to sit home and play on the i-pad all day, literally, if we let him, and that is neither good for him or ourselves.

Extracurricular activities enable Brian to engage with the community, practice social skills, and develop hobbies. I love meeting up with other  parents to socialize with and to exchange information to help our kids. The reality is, I need the recreational activities as much as Brian does. No man is an island, and it is too easy to isolate on the special needs journey. We need each other for friendship and support.  When our own tank is full, we can in turn give more freely to our kids, while taking care of ourselves and having fun while doing it.

I am so impressed  by the large number of high school and college students who choose to spend their free time giving to those who can use a helping hand. Sometimes young people get a bad rap for their apathy and self-absoption, but not the volunteers that we’ve encountered! It is clear that their families have raised them well and they are truly upstanding citizens and in some cases, they become long-term friends.

With all of the  crazy things that go on in the world and the constant/negative news reports, it is so refreshing to hear the GREAT news that the volunteer movement is alive and well! Long may it live and prosper! And thank God our kids have these social and recreational opportunities.

Pictured here is one such volunteer, a young man from Princeton University, who gave his time and attention to Brian yesterday during the Princeton Disability Awareness Carnival, a bi-annual event that allows children with special needs to experience a whole host of fun recreational activities for 5 hours . Each child is assigned to a student, who is their buddy, teacher, and friend. As you can see, Brian had a great time, and so did his wonderful mentor! This picture is definitely worth a thousand words…

It is an extraordinary example of why volunteers are so very important to our kids, to the families, and to the world are large.

Until we meet again…thanks for reading! 🙂

 

Here’s a picture of my Lil’Harry Potter in his classroom 5 years ago. It’s one of my favorites! That engaging smile, always eating , and cute buzz cut gets me every time! Brian has had quite the colorful educational career with its twists and turns, great teachers and not so good teachers, like most special needs students. The initially dreaded IEP meeting has now become more  of a collaborative experience in order to make sure Brian gets the resources that he needs to be the most successful. This was not always the case, especially in the early years when we were still grieving and processing Brian’s additional diagnosis of autism at 2 plus years old and all that comes with it. Those initial meetings felt intimidating and were not always in Brian’s best interests. Advocacy was born through a baptism of fire. Time and experience have helped us to  more effectively communicate our son’s needs and  to set the tone that we truly know Brian better than anyone else and always did!

Now the actual IEP document itself…well, that emotes a different response entirely, especially in the privacy of our home office, as I carefully read and ponder its meaning. The most recent one just came in the mail yesterday and I am still reading it, thinking it through. There’s a lot of effort that goes into the IEP, so many goals, so little time, and from my vantage point, not a lot of mastery of them. Brian’s skill sets are mostly “emerging”, “progressing”, but few are mastered overall. I think the goals are

appropriate, after all, I am part of the IEP Team that decided they should be included  in the first place. And Brian’s current school staff are doing a great job and the best that they can to help Brian learn. So what’s happening then? One theory I have is that Brian is too cool for school. I really think that he chooses not to  always show what he knows, just because, you know, he’s cool! I believe this  theory because Brian does have very strong receptive language skills, will absolutely attend to something when he is motivated, and will communicate on his I-pad directly whenever he feels it’s a benefit to him. We see this all the time at home!  This is not to minimize Brian’s multiple challenges and how they have a major impact on his learning, which they most certainly do. Work avoidance and a lack of motivation are areas that Brian struggles with, further compounded by puberty. We have learned over this past year not to underestimate the power of testosterone and all that comes with it, including an attitude and unwillingness to cooperate and do what is necessary.

Thank goodness for behavior plans, motivators, and the wonderful people who implement them, such as the school staff and Brian’s home therapists. I call them God’s Chosen People, and they really are, as it takes very special folks to do this type of work. They have also saved my sanity on certain days, especially when Chardonnay was not an option, lol! I But seriously, they are the most essential members of Team Brian and we would be at such a loss without them.

There always is and always will be the annual sadness that comes with reading the IEP document. It is part of the special needs journey that is inescapable , but it by no means defines who our child is or who we are as loving parents. It just reminds us that we are human, love our kids, and only want the best for them. We appreciate progress, one step at a time, and continue to learn to cut ourselves and our kids a lot of slack, by having very flexible expectations. It’s one of the most valuable lessons I have learned from my Precious Marvel. And you can never be too cool for school, just ask Brian! 🙂

Have a great weekend, Everyone, until  next time…..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Foe of Scoliosis, The Redeemer of Spine Curvatures, and  it’s always got your back like a loyal friend. Presenting the one and only….Providence Brace! It’s been Brian’s nighttime companion for a little over a month now and their relationship has definitely had its ups and downs.

Brian has grown almost 4 inches over the past year, necessitating the brace. The orthopedic surgeon had forewarned us of the likelihood of Brian having scoliosis about 8 months ago when X-rays showed the curvature of his lower thoracic/upper lumbar region of his spine.  I was able to clearly see the curvature  progression myself on the subsequent X-rays- it was undeniable and painful to see. The curve started at 16 degrees…Doctor said that 25 degrees was the magic number for bracing and Brian wore his brace for the first time on St. Patrick’s Day.  Coincidentally, my final chemo infusion for colon cancer was on the same day 6 years ago. I completed my journey and Brian was about to begin his- the irony was not lost on me.

As you can imagine, the first week was rough for Brian to sleep. He woke up frequently, was irritable, and sweaty from the brace, even though a bonus prize of 2 special undershirts to keep Brian comfortable and prevent rashes came with this $3000 customized contraption. In a few weeks, however, he developed an awful heat rash, so we switched to under armour shirts, then the rash came back again, with a terrible itch. My husband saved the day when he came across a Gold Bond spray that thank  goodness, has been working very well so far. Brian is finally sleeping much better too, so thank God for that! Brian has been stoic in putting on his “armor” nightly, and doesn’t complain perse, but what my husband and I both notice is the sadness, almost resignation , that Brian displays when we strap him in each night. His big blue eyes peer at us intently as we go through this nightly ritual ,wondering if we might change our minds and not have him wear this thing.

I tearfully lamented to a few friends this past week that bracing Brian has been hard for him and hard for us. I greatly appreciated their listening ears because I’ve been really struggling with this. Even though we know that “this too shall pass,” things will get better”it’s for his own good”, etc. and all of those other platitudes. He has been wetting his bed frequently too, a silent, yet loud protest to the brace. Yes, I’m sure this will pass as well….

In the final analysis, anytime our Precious Marvels go through challenges, we parents are in the trenches with them, feeling their pain, wishing we could make it go away. It is instinctive to protect our children not only from harm, but even from helpful tools, like a Providence Brace, because it is initially daunting, even though it is for their own good. We will eventually look back with pride at how Brian once again conquered another new challenge, but in the meantime, we are relying on Providence to see us through one day  and one  bracing at a time….

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Brian’s Ode To Spring

Eating and Swimming, With T-Ball Tommorow

A Road Trip to Baltimore- It’s Really Not So Far, No!

Drinking My Juice Box On The Big Playground Swing

These Are A Few Of My Favorite Things

When The Doctor Pokes And The Dentist Cleans, And I’m Feeling Mad

I Simply Remember  I’m Off For 9 Days, And Then I Won’t Feel So Sad!

Stimming And Smiling With Toys And At People

Signing For “Crackers”, While Eating Another Handful

Home Therapy Program Gives Brian His Wings

These Are A Few Of His Favorite Things

When The Textures Change, And Transition Comes, And  There Is No i-Pad

I’ll Try To Remember That This Too Shall Pass, And Then I Won’t Feel So Sad!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Welcome to Marvels and Moxie and my inaugural blog! My name is Brenda and I am the Proud Mama of a beautiful boy named Brian. It has been my heart’s desire for quite some time to share about my journey with my marvel, Brian, (who certainly has lots of moxie!) with the hope that my experiences in raising a son with special needs will be an encouragement, humorous, and helpful for those of us whose lives have been blessed by  these Precious Marvels!

Brian has Down syndrome and autism, is non-verbal, and  LOVES music, eating, water, and Frozen! Brian uses sign language and a communication app on his i-pad for speech. He also has severe sensory integration issues, experiences great difficulty with transitions, and gives the best hugs in the world! Brian requires assistance with all activities of daily living, had open heart surgery at 3 months old, wears glasses and orthotics, and was recently diagnosed with scoliosis requiring  him to wear a back brace at night. Despite all of these challenges, Brian inspires my husband, Jim, and I, with his perseverance, resilience, and total trust that all of his needs will be taken care of.  I have learned this lesson often from my son throughout his 12+ years of  life and still continue to do so. He has been my Best Teacher and continues to show me things that I am capable of  that I would have never dreamed were possible before, such as being an Advocate, Medical Expert, Social Director, Therapist, and my favorite role of all-  his Mom! ♡♡♡

Until we meet again, thanks for reading! 🙂